Queensland

It is with mixed feelings I arrived back home to Melbourne yesterday.
What was ment to be a fun holiday before uni starts again turned into something else.
It was fun, It was great actually...maybe to great.
I feel like it might be time to move on, live somewhere else. Try something different perhaps.
Still here in the land down under of course.
Either way, 1 more year of uni left so plenty o time to see what doors will open and what doors will close.

Sitting at work now, its 6.20 am and its raining outside. Of course. All I saw in surfers the last week was rain and more rain! It was till a fun place if you like to party, which we did!
I just really feel I should be somewhere else right now just not sure where.
But work will do for now, we alll need money hey.

Meet so many great ppl this past few weeks, some left more of an impression than others and there is a few I really hope to see again!

To make the trip short I went to Airlie Beach where I meet up with Pernilla. From there we went sailing around whitsundays. It was amazing and one of my highlights of the trip! I feel so home on the water!
From there we made our way down to Agnes Water/1770. Nice quite coastal town. We did some surfing and Scooteroos! It was so hard to surf but so much fun!

We spent three nights there and it was so quite and relaxing. Probably the only place I really relaxed.
From there it was off to Hervey bay where we would take the ferry over to Fraser Island for 3 days of camping and 4WD. With dingos! It was a truly beautiful and amazing place. And there was plenty of drinking games going on at nighttime! When we came back to Hervey Bay to stay the night in a hostel you could say that I had a pretty good sleep after a packed few days!

But the next day there was no time for rest as we where off to Noosa for 2 nights. Such a great little place. First day I walked around with a girl from Austria and had a look around. After that it was partytime!
The high heels and the make up went on and off we went! Ended up at an afterparty swimming in a pool to 6.30am in the morning.
I was prettu tired the next day but dragged my ass out of bed and went to the beach where the iron man competition was on. Next day we walked the coastal track in the national park which was so nice before we got on the bus once again to go to Brisbane.

We decided to only do one night in Brisbane, and that was probably a good plan since there was not much to see. Once again the party hat went on, we went to china town for a nice dinner and then back to the hostel where they had a club. A fun night!
But no time to rest or be hung over, following day I did some sightseeing and then we took the train to Surfers Paradise.

We stayed in Surfers for almost a week. We had ONE day on sun then it was rain and more rain. However meet some awesome people there as well, went on a pubcrawl, played minigolf, did some shopping and  other things you can do when its raining (which is not much).
Had a funny feeling about that place, I liked it because I had so much fun, but I disliked it as well as far as what it stands for. Very mixed feelings. A true party place though with all that comes with it.
Last day we went to Wet n Wild water park, that was so much fun! They had so many water slides and some of them scared the shit out of me, but I tried them all!

Next day we arrived back in melb only 6 hours late since the flights where delayed.
And here I am, back at work, back to uni, back to reality...
This trip was good for me in every way, it still so recent but I learnt so much about my self and others. What I can accept and what I cannot. What I should work on and when its time to just leave things.
But most of all how to just live in the moment and enjoy right here and now.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason, just not sure what the reasons are now but it will come.

The Quest for Happiness

I got off the bus and started walking. Should I wait for the tram should I not? I walked one stop went in to 7/11, got a drink and then decided to wait the remaining 5 minutes for the tram. I looked up at the sky, I could see a few stars. For one second it felt like i was somewhere else. There I was sitting alone, in the middle of the night somewhere in Melboure. Blending in with the rest of the people.
But I didn't feel lonely..
The stars reminded me of being a teenager, and the many walks I took late at night by my self. Looking at all the starts and thinking about the meaning of life.
Now I'm doing the same thing, just in a different setting.
I started to smile a little bit, thinking about my younger naive self.
Suddenly I thought, am I happy? Do I know when Im happy? Or is being happy just not being unhappy?

Happiness for me is a state of mind. It is something I create and something I chose to be. Actions by others can make you happy or unhappy. That is if you chose to be affected by it. Relationships can create happiness, with your family, friends and lovers.
The past is something I can now look back at and smile, remember it for what is was. Not glorify it, not ignore it, just accept it. The future looks bright but I will not strees. The universe will lead me to where Im ment to be. It is the now that matters.
And the now is pretty good. I feel positive and stronger than I have in a long time. I chose to be happy.
I guess I cannot say where the source of happiness comes from, what it really means and how to get there. And not really anyone can.

Happiness is a mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. A variety of biological, psychological, religious, and philosophical approaches have striven to define happiness and identify its sources.

‘All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.’ ~Blaise Pascal

There is no room for negativity around me.
If you stand up for yourself, accept nothing less than what your worth, smile at things that makes you sad...than I believe you have found what its called happiness. Being you with no restrictions.
And if you lose it, just remember who you are and you will find your way back again.
Power of attraction...what you think you will attract, so start thinking positive thoughts!

 

Xmas Time

Christmas is around the corner, a new year is about to begin. Again!

I would like to say thank you to all of my friends around the world, and friends I had and lost, and thank you to my wonderful family!
You have all been a part of my life and helped me become a person, an individual.
You have pushed me to do things Im scared off, to step outside my comfort zone. You have been there through hard times when I just couldn't stand alone.
You have laughed and loved with me.
And you have also brought me back to earth and told me off when I needed to hear it.
You have all had an impact in my life in one way or the other, some more some less.
And for that I love you all!
For the first time in my life I feel safe and grounded in my own body, with my personality. I feel like Im starting to know who I am.
After all the years of struggle, up and downs, anger, love and sadness. I still have all of those feel;ings but now I know how to deal with them
And I have to say I like my self now. Who I have become.
And for the things I would like to change, I will, but nothing comes overnight.

For me christmas is not a big deal. Especially not when Im here. Christmas is snow. If there is any time of the year I get depressed for being away it is this time. But its also a time when I can reflect on what Ive done, where my life is headed and be happy for everything I have experienced so far. And be happy for the wonderful people I have in my life, both here and back in Sweden.

So Merry Christmas to you all! I hope you receive everything you wish for, but mostly I hope your are all happy and safe whereever you are.
xoxoxo

Home

Its not like I dont get it, I do. But maybe its better to pretend that I dont.
Playing smart or playing stupid?
Either way, I know I get it thats all I need to know.
The way you see me, the way you think I am, the good things you see in me, the bad things you see in me. They are all things YOU see in me. I do care how people view me. But how well do you really know me?
Do you know me well enought to discuss my actions? Do you feel you know me well enough to judge me?
Our actions is not always smart calculated choices, somethimes its plain stupidity.
But isnt that the whole idea? What is so wrong with doing wrong if you learn from it?
And remember what is wrong for me might not be wrong for you.

As I was reading through some old posts and I started missing people. My friends and family at home. But also friends here that I no longer have contact with for different reasons. I missed the feeling of feeling at home so to say. I do feel at home here, but I havent been here for that long yet. I havent created that homly feeling. Maybe I shoud start by organising my room.
Home is where the heart is. Im just not so sure where mine is at the moment.

Wasabi makes everything better

Its spicy, its hot, a bit sour? Clears your throuth. Yeah It makes it all better.
And its so amazingly good!

Lesson of the week is to distance my self from others problems. Not to let my self get affected. Accept it as it is.
I feel content at the moment, happy and excited.
I do not want to lose that feeling, so I wont.
The difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.
So yeah there will be bad days, but it will not be anyone elses fault.
And yes there will be people to piss you off, but its up to you how you approach  it.

Tomorrow is a new day.
Hopefully one with a good attitude

Monday Morning (I thought I changed since yesterday)

This was me when I arrived in OZ 2008 for a working holiday. The plan was to be gone one year at tops. Now its the end of 2011 and Im still here.
So many things has changed but so many things are still the same. Its seems like all around me everyone is growing up, moving on into new phases of their life. I feel like I have been in a bubble for two years at least. But a pretty good one.
I was reading a post i made a year ago about lies. So true. I have moved on now, and it feels so good.
Kelly was over friday night and we had a blast! Shes always there and for that I love her!
Monday today, I wonder what this week will bring. I need to step up my game a bit, do some preparation for work and get started on my training again. Oh and we got a pool at the house so I have to try that one out as well! There is no time for distractions, this next year coming is going to be a big one. I hope whatever happens I will be happy in the decisions that are taken for me, and maybe I can finally move in to the next phase of life.
But first the scanning awaits me!

One year to go!

Another year of uni has just finsihed. Still waiting for results but all the exams are OVER!
Its been maybe the best semester so far. Probably because I did not stress I was just so over everything that had to do with school that I just didnt care.
Either way I had fun so thats what matters!
I have got ride of my car, moved into a sharehouse and started working in the office again! Things are good at the moment.
I will start doing some more work over the holidays which Im looking forward to. I have also been invited to talk about social media from a students perspective at La Trobe Learning and curriculum conferance in December. Im looking forward to it but Im a bit nervous as well.
There are also 2 major things happening next year, one is my homies wedding and I will miss it. I feel horrible and it really sucks but they are no funds to go home ate the moment. And the same goes for my sister, I wish I could be home with her as well but its in the middle of the semester!
Next year will be the last year then Im finsihed with my degree. As much as its exciting I also need to decide whats next. That will be the hard part. I wish I will have the option to stay as I am not ready to leave just yet.
I have decided to learn spanish next semester, the time has come! It will be a challange but I can do it!
I wish I could tell you more interesting things, but they really are none at the moment. I kind of like it like that though.
I suppose I need to get back to the scanning, one hour to go then its time to go home, prep for 2morrow morning and jump into bed!