Lies

A lie (also called prevarication, falsehood) is a type of deception in the form of an untruthful statement, especially with the intention to deceive others.

Yep, we have all been there. We have either told one or we have been told one. Probably both. But do we ever sit back and think about the consequenses? What impact they really have?
Yes when someone told one to yourself.
There is nothing worse then seeing something slip away. A person being a friend, a partner, family member or whatever it is. A lie can destroy it all in seconds.
But whats worse? Hiding something in belive your protecting the other person from pain? Or telling the truth? I guess i depends on what the lie is about.
However I have noticed the latter seem to be the best. Whatever it is, it cant be worse then being led behind the light.
It casues so much pain, thinking about it, wonder, have your whole body shake with anger. Anger of not knowing.
It has happend before, and I have done my best to not put anyone else through that.
But what do we do when we are the one being led behind the light? How do we move on from it, how can we let it go? Will the anger and the hurt of losing a loved one ever go away?
It will slowly go away with time, but maybe not completly. We will miss that person, those times. And when it comes down to it, we will remember it all as a lie.
Its funny that the people that talks most about honesty, the ones who seem to cherish it highly, are the ones that ends up lying. For whatever reason they do it. The person on the other side will sit there, wonder. Was anything true? Was it all a lie? Was it all for nothing?
What is the lesson of all this? To learn self-controll, to learn how to be a better person? What is it?
I guess you wont find out, maybe not until years later. I guess you just have to suck it up, grief and move on. At the end of the day thats all we can do, move on.
Every time you put your trust in someone you risk being hurt. And when someone puts their trust on you, they risk being hurt. We can only do what we can do. But we can learn from our mistakes, we can be better people, we can make sure that we will never put anyone in that situation.
It hurts being there, not knowing, being betrayed.
I feel bad for what I have put some people through, I feel bad every time I cant controll my anger and I end up saying hurtful things. I cant take them back. I can only look for understanding and forgiveness.
I understand now, I have been there now. I have learnt from it. All that is left now is let time heal what is broken. Move on and be a better person from it.

There are so many things to be happy for, good friends, great family, good music and the smell of fresh air. There is no reason letting a lie come between that. Filling your time with things you enjoy and people you love will be the way to go. Every day is a day closer to closure.

The semester is coming to an end, only exams left now. Then it is time to relax for a while before it starts again. Melb winter has arrived and as much as I complained last year, its nice to get a break from the heat.
To my family back home, I miss you lots and will hopefully see you all soon! xx

winter has arrived

The winter has arrived. Its getting chilly and darker. Reminds me about the end of summer back home, reminds me of family and friends I miss. You always miss a best friend hey, as hard as it is life has to move on. It hurts sometimes to know your not involved in peoples life as much as you should. I know you cannot blame time, but life gets busy sometimes and you "forget", you leave it to later and you think one day it will all be fine. Maybe it wont, maybe its a new life on the horizon, at least I have the memories. They will always stay.
I went for a walk tonight, it was nice and chilly, dark and I had my ipod. I started thinking about expectations. Maybe we set them to high, not only on our self but on others as well. People are who they are, if you know a person you know how they are like, their good sides and their bad. So why is it that we expect things from them that we know will not come throu? we are really setting our self up for disappointment and the other person to feel like a failure. Im not saying we should not have any expectations on people, but maybe we should give our selfs and others a break sometimes.
We are only human and humans come with faults.
Life is a journey even though u feel like your not going anywhere, once you reach your goals you realise you where on your way all along. It was just to early to see.

Back to school!

So back In Australia after a quick cold visit in the homeland. I did not take long until it was all back to normal (or almost normal). School started about 5 weeks ago and time is going so fast! My life consists of study and more study. But have had time for fun as well, a visit down the peninsula, great weather and a great days!
This are some pics of my rooms, a night out and uni.
Start work tomorrow, have had the luxury of not working for a while but now its time to get back into it. Its a place at crown food court and it will probably be mostly nightshifts. Anyway we will see how tomorrow night turns out but Im excited to do something else!
I have moved as well about 2 weeks ago, Its so good to finally have my own room and my own space. Living with Kelly and her kids in Doncaster. So far so good!
Got awarded Deans Commendation from uni for my results from my first year. In May there will be a award ceremony and Im looking forward to that! Nothing big but will still be fun, a bit of a kick in the ass to do well this year as well, if not better!
Easter is coming up and have to say it would be pretty nice going to the holidayhouse in Sweden and icefish, however I think its to far to go for the weekend!
Nothing else new, my life is pretty boring at the moment as the focus is on school and surviving! No shopping, no more wasting money on stupid things and no more partys! Well one here and there maybe hehe.
Back to Research studies bye for now

The world is freezing!

Dad took this picture early this morning when he was working, are u frigging kidding me! Dude, the new iceage has arrived in Norrbotten!
So staying inside today feels like a fairly good idea, but dont have time! Ive started to pack, not sure what to bring since I still have 2 cold days left in Luleå. But on the other hand I can leave all the winter gear there when I go.
I did learn one very important thing this weekend, dont say I would never! Thats when u do it. Somehow I got a feeling I should have know that one since before ;)
Anywho, back to the ice aged and the packing...Wondering what the hell I should wear to stay warm today?

Back to the roo´s and crocks!

This week its time to return to Melb, cannot wait! I recived the ticket confirmation yesterday thinking I booked for 17th of Feb but it was booked for the 24th! After beeing on the phone to my agent saying I want to change to the 17th they sent me an email saying its changed for the 18th! So I called up the airlane in question and they cant help me cause I booked through an agent. Even though I KNOW the airlane it self can go in any time and overtake the booking, so thanks for all the help! Anyway heading off on friday instead so one day later...SPYING!

Weekend was good, went out for a couple of drinks with a friend on friday and of course it turned in to a big night. Sat was awesome to and it had a lot of singing involved haha. Love it!

Thanks to all the great new people I meet here that made my stay so much fun! And thanks of course to the "old" ppl as well. Was great to see you all! But its time to go home again, pls come and visit!

Its a beautiful day outside and soon im heading off to work my last couple of hours..Then I have to pack, fix papers, say goodbyes and book more tickets before my departure on wed morning.

sunshine, cold and fever

I said the world is my oyster
You said its all there for me
I woke up every day to the sunshine outside
beautiful days, beautiful cold
But I closed my eyes and went back to bed again
just to dream of another place
In the dream the ocean was near
dark nights, hot days
I walked along the beach
just to found my self sourronded by concret
the struggle and the pain, almost make me feel like I want to wake up again
as im spinning around, I hear your vocie again
dont give up
My eyes opens and I enjoy the day
and suddenly I realize my home is where I am



Im like a kid now days, playing with my laptop..Welcome to the 21st century! Spotify, skype and a dvd burner! Music is blasting out the speakers, oprah is on the tv...2pm and the sun is slowly starting to set. I think its time for another iprem...Next week I might go back. I cant wait. Lets make this year better then all the rest! Sometimes change is the best thing that can happen, and when this year started nothing was the same...and I think thats what the rest of the year will offer. Im ready, bring it on!

So another weekend of fun. It started with Lena and Lottas 30th dress up party. Allthough I did not dressup, but it was still good. The dinner was AMAZING loved the meat. After that we arrived at cousin Linda where a full on girls party was happening. The chatter was everywhere! And so was the punch. Then it was time to go to the pub. Alltogheter it was a fun night with great friends. However the problem of the night was to get a hold of a taxi since the telephones stopped working after some idiot in Luleå cut a wire off. But I managed to get home after a lot of effing around.

Im waiting for my csn money to come so I can organise the ticket back to my hostland! I miss the heat so bad. Im freezing every day. I know but I have never liked the cold. Im also looking for accommodation sicne a roof over my head would be a good way to start the new semester, no cats, no madrass on the floor, no flinders street station but a real room!

Tomorrow Im off with sister Johanna to Luleå to visit brother Stefan and his wife. Sat we will go to Jokkmokks winter market, should be nice have not been there yet. Hopefully not to cold.

My shoppinglist for this month is a ticket to the land down under, a place to stay, a computer and a new phone. Its going to be an expensive month! And if I can maybe a short holiday somewhere. I would like to go to Bali maybe. But thats for later this year

Here is Lena in her dress up outfit, Queen of hearts!

Natalie has her first meeting with Mr.stubbieholder, she loves to chew on it!

So nothing more nothing less, off to my second shift soon at work Nr2. Right now the washingmachine is spinning like crazy to get my clothes clean for Luleå! xx