Friday as I know it

I was reading the paper today and it said that many ausytalians suffers from seasonal depression.This due to the fact that it is dark and cold during winter. It gets dark around 6 maybe, suns up around 7-8. and yeah its pretty cold from time to time. No snow though, not in melb anyway.
If Australians get depressed from their winter, i guess swedes, in paritcular the ones above the arctic circle must be close to going absolute loco! I mean, darkness 24/7 for 2 months! Then winter for 6-7 months! Yep loco it is.
You should all be happy u still have ur sanity left!
Its 20 post six at night, I have to leave in about 2 hours for my nightshift.
Got no motivation to do anything, im still in my pyjamas...well at least I did some study not much but a bit. So another weekend of work, another week of study (or half a week) and then I might get my social life back! Enjoy ur weekend everyone!

stress

Its funny how stress can get to you. Even when you think its not there. Well now I have learned to see it coming. When such a simple think like a broken oven makes you go nuts, well then is definatly something wrong. The smallest thing makes you have a nrevous breakdown.
They say stress can come from a lot of things. Well when you have no kids, and not even a full time job...the stress must come from somewhere else.
For me its exams. They might not seem to stressful to start with, or during the exam period, But after a while you can definatly feel the pressure. The pressure I have put on my self to be the best and better.
Working and studying is hard, and struggle financially is harder. As well as being away from home. And all those things combined plus the exam period has made me go over the edge. At least I understand what it is that makes me feel like this, and I know it will pass. But it dosent make it any easier. So when you come home and the oven is broken and your shoes are broken, combined with a broken car light...Yeah I think its fair to say it was a bit to much.
I cant fix the oven or buy new shoes or fix the car asap. But really they are minor issues, they are other shoes, you can cook without an oven and I just have to get a light and fix the car my self. So now after two hours of mental breakdown, I have calmed down and can now see things as a rational person. Lucky no one was home. If there is something else I learned is that im not exactly the best company when Im stressed. So Im looking forward to brighter days and to find my normal self again. Only one exam left then a break. At least it will give me some time to do all the other things i freak out about and have now time doing.
Sort out everything for my visitors is prio nr 1!
Yeah stress can be hard when we are put under pressure. But I have been there before I know it will past. But sometimes you need an hour or two to freak out,  get it all out of your system and then start over. Breaking it all down in manageble pieces and do one thing at a time. Really there is no point freaking out about things that have not yet occured and may never occur.
So tonight I will take a break from everything, watch a good show, go to bed early and start a new day tomorrow. Hopefully later down the track I will realised what I learned, even it nothing is making sence at the moment. But with such a strong drive to continue, it has to be worth it in the end, right?

Not so productive day!

Woke up way to late, got my tired so over exams, I need a holiday and a bottle of vodka ass to school. Once there the book I wanted was not in reserve, however it was due around that time so I decided to wait. I saw the book walking in (or the person walking in with the book) and my face put on a smile. There it is! Until the lady decided to re borrow the book. Now you are not allowed to do so so I went after her and explained that it was my turn to have the book. She looked at me rather confused, I pointed at the book and said you cant reborrow the book if there is someone else waiting for it...she still seemed rather confused. So I took the book from her and said come back in three hours!

The book was mine!

I should really have said one hour because thats how long i used it for. The guy sitting next to me in the library had the most annoying laugh and he would not stop laughing! So I decided to go and meet my friends at a cafe. I got directions and off I went. Well I went to the right cafe, did not see them...drove around for a while and decided to go home. Of course I had no credit. Im a student...Im poor! Got home called her up, and yes they where there, I just didnt look properly. Well not much to do about that. So I thought I have to look up all these things before I get back to study, download itunes and some music. Then I was hungry and decided to cook up satay chicken for the rest of the week. Now I have done all that and run out of must do things. I guess it is time to return to study. Exam is tomorrow! Im so over it! My life is so freaking boring atm and I need a drink! And even if I wanted to esacpe I cant since there is no planes taking off due to the stupid ash...

And happy birthday to my little sis! xx

Immigration, stay or go...what do a person do??

One of the current, extremely controversial issues discussed around the world is immigration.  Is immigration in the different forms or shapes ethical? Or is the notion of “take care of your self before anyone else” the way to go? Where does a society draw the line? Is it all right to make sure their current citizens have everything before taking care of someone else…But what if that someone else have nothing and not being able to build a new life would most likely kill them…Is it really ethical saying no to that? It is about life and death, do we reach out or hand or do we feed our own?

Immigration comes in many different forms, immigrating due to family, work, school, partners ect. In Australia’s case immigration has built the country. Today people are continuing immigrating here to fill the skilled workers shortages or to live with their family members. It has been proven that the benefits of immigration is far more then the costs. Not only are people immigrant filling up the work shortage but is contributing to the social welfare system and infrastructure by paying taxes, starting new businesses and contributing with innovation which sets Australia on the world map. In the long rum Immigration is successful and is continuing to be successful. The cost however is mostly associated with integration the new people in society and the cost of language courses (refugees get no special payments for being refugees). These are minor costs compared to the benefits. It is also a fact that 98% of Australians are descendents of migrants.

However illegal immigration is and will continue to be a problem. And I am not talking about the so called “boat people” since they only account for 10&% of illegal immigrants each year. That they have received so much media attention and hostility is something I cannot understand considering when there is another 90% to take care of, where are they??? And they are probably the ones needing this “new life” less then the refugees. Again this is going back to the ethical dilemma, what does a country do? Well if you ask me, sitting home complaining about it is not helping anyone. We are all entitled to our opinions of course but be sure to have informed opinions. The journey these refugees goes though is not an easy one, Im definatly looking forward to see this show, hopefully people will think differently about them after that.

And yes, Australia population is growing quickly; there is a shortage of housing and of course water. Immigration need to be more regulated and taken care of. The current citizens need to have food, water and shelter before bringing others in. I guess this is why this is such a dilemma, there is no easy way to deal with these things in my opinion. I’m not a citizen my self, and I am struggling with the thought of maybe not being able to stay if I chose I would like to. But if that means that I’m giving up my place to someone who needs it more, I’m quite happy to do so.  But if I stay, start a business, employ people and bring in money to the economy, have I not done well then? But again, how many people can one country fit? Questions are followed by another question. I have trust in the systems, at least some parts of it. And I belive there is not an easy answer to these things and I trust that the people that have been elected are doing their best. I´m sure I cant do better. There are so many problems and things that needs attention in a society, there fore there will always be things getting less attention and less money…Simply because there is not enough money and no system is perfect. We just need to learn how to life with it all and do our best or simply go out there and try to change what we are not happy with!

http://www.immi.gov.au/media/publications/research/social-costs-benefits/contents_exec_summary_and_intro.pdf

First Love

When I think back of the men in my life, so far anyway I’m not really sure what went on in my head sometimes. Well some choices I have to say I’m proud of, one or two that to this day seems unnecessary and plain idiotic and most I see as learning experiences. Whether they where long term relationships, flings or distant meetings in the night they all have something in common. They reflect my own insecurity, wants and needs. It’s like a reverse mirror of my self and who I was at a particular point in time.

Somehow I just did not get it. I did not understand what a soul mate is, maybe I still don’t. I chose with fear of really letting go and be without control. Sometimes I think I chose for selfish reasons. Well I know I did. Don’t we all?

What I never looked for and what I don’t believe I found to this day is a true companion. A person that push you to succeed and become a better human being than you ever thought where possible. A person who catches you those times you fall, because falling is inventible.

Someone that shares you values and underlying assumptions on what life should be like. Or at least some of them, and maybe create new ones together.

A true friend.

I do believe I had and still have true friends. People to push me and catch me, friends that share my views and visions of a perfect world.

There was a guy once in my life, he was all that if not even more. He made me laugh, and yeah he did make me cry sometimes. I should add to this that I am supersensitive so it is not hard to make my cry. But it is hard to break me.

Anyway that man or maybe a boy who he was at the time was my first love.

I was young, life was good and it was summer. Butterflies where in my stomach every time I saw him, heard his voice or talked about him. My face was smiling every day, every night. My eyes where full of life and happiness. It was true love because it was the first love and it was great!

As with many things great they come to an end. I was heartbroken. I though life was over and all that was left was a big black whole. Even today thinking back at it, it was an extremely strong and just heart aching feeling. It made me physical ill.

It was the first meeting with lost love, and it was so hard. I did not know as a young girl just experience my first love that the feeling would pass and life would move on.

And it did, however the experience was so innocent and it was without restrictions. Only time I let my self get lost in love without trying to control, manipulate and change someone to what I would like my partner to be.

As u grow older, it gets harder...Im happy I had my first love, and the loves I had after. It gives your life a meaning, sharing it with others.

flashback 2

Got another flashback,´...how life did not turn out as what I expected several years ago. Miss those times, they seem so distance now but still like yesterday. I screwed it all up but maybe for the best. This song will always remind me of xmas and newyears 2002...and beginning of 2003. Miss you all! And miss my obsession with 24 and that game...hmm cant remeber now what the name was but I was hooked! xx

Jamie Oliver

Jamie Oliver, Richard Branson, Bill Gates and so many more…what do they share?? They are all entrepreneurs, business entrepreneurs and social entrepreneurs. Fantastic Inspiring people that make us feel like dreams can come true.

My favorite is Jamie Oliver, He might be known to many as a chef with a TV show, but what he has done to change the way people eat and think of food is fantastic! He change the way the UK school system coked their food, and educate people in the danger of eating processed food. Okay I can say I am not a health freak; however I am an adult I choose what I eat and I am informed of the consequences of my choices. Kids are not, So Good On you Jamie!! Once voice, determination and a believing in the cause can make us all go a long way.

Richard Branson, I am so looking forward to seeing him in July! I have high expectations and I am sure he will not disappoint me….

My interest in life comes from setting myself huge, apparently unachievable challenges and trying to rise above them...from the perspective of wanting to live life to the full, I felt that I had to attempt it /Richard Branson

His life has not been a dance on roses, perhaps that was has made him so successful. The new initiative in Virgin Atlantic, who else would come up with that? I can only wish I would have the money to get a ticket :)
Either way, these people not only works as an inspiration for success but they all share a common mission of giving back. This is the people that make the world go around in my eyes. You can be rich and GIVE back to your community, which is the good part about being rich and influential, as long as you use it the right way!

I need to return to my studies about business strategies, what else to do on Friday afternoon? Seems like 9 out of 10 people at the library is sitting on facebook, seems to be the way to go!