New Beginnings

In three weeks my uni life will be over. 3 years gone. It feels like yesterday when I started. I was so nervous doing something I was not familiar with. Scared I would fail. It has been one of the biggest challenges so far and I did it! Well in three weeks I have!
Soon its time to leave, and start again in Gold Coast. I will miss everyone here and everything you given me!
But I cannot wait for new beginnings, a new chapter and to see whats in store for me in the future!
Even though its a bit scary, I managed to survive and make a life in Melbourne, and Im sure I will in Gold Coast too. This time I wont be alone!

Due to visa issues, there will be no white christmas for me. At first I felt angry and upset, and was considering going anyway. But its just not worth the risk. So until the application has been sorted, I will have to stay here. Hopefully it wont take too long, and I will be on the next flight home as soon as I can. I have allready missed way to much, and it has been way to long! I miss everyone so much and I just want be with my family again. Living overseas has been the hardest decision I made, and as much as I love and miss my family I just feel like I cant be happy at home. At least not right now.
Well before any of that will happen its time to get through the exams, and that will not happen while Im wasting my time here instead of studying!

Thats Gold Coast on the picture, finally I get to live by the beach!!

Home

Home is where the heart is.
Never before have I wanted to be back home more then now. To see my dear little sister get married, enjoy time with family and be myself for a while.
Just be for a moment, and enjoy the success and happiness of your loved ones.
I will be there in my mind.
Missing someone is finding yourself in a moment thinking you would like to share it with that person.
I find my self in that moment moreso now than ever before

In a few months Ill be home with you all.
Time flies by here, but at the same time it stands still.
In 3 months I would have finished what I set out to accomplish.
And nothing went the way I planned.
Sometimes good things falls apart, so better things can fall togheter :)



 

Is it possible to be happy about something, and at the same time sad? Like hungrythirsty?

So after a few days of relaxing I have returned to the unorganised, stressful, wonderful, horrible and crazy thing I call life. And now in the exam period, its like that times ten! And I have a tendency to always, without fail, take to much on in to little time and this week will be no different! And its hard to prioritise with priorities so to say. U must earn money to pay the rent and in order to do so you must turn up at work, you must study for your exams, you most go to some events at least, and you most eat which equals cooking. You must take care of your health and you must sleep!
Lucky its All over in 3 weeks, and it will ALL be over within a few months. Hopefully then, stability can make its return! But I have a feeling thast gonne take a while as well :) But not to worry, the journey is there to be enjoyed! But hey at least I will learn time-management, but I wonder if I will ever practice it!
But before all that is done, I will go home, have a nice sleep, move my room in the morning and dive into the books!
Good night all!

Nostalgia

Have you ever had that feeling, that for just one second your drawn back in time. To another place somewhere far away. Your thoughts are running away, you think about a past time, and just for that second you can feel yourself being in that moment, in that room, with all the people that was everything for you.
Once the second is over, you return to today.
Its funny how people come and go in life, and how someone at one point in time was everything for you, and years later you struggle to remember their face, or their voice.
You move on, you find others to connect with, love and have fun with.
And then one day, for a brief moment you remember the feeling you had years ago. And you start missing them. You start missing the life you had, the smell of your apartment, the feeling of waking up in a familiar place. You start missing the cold air, the dark nights and drinking tea while watching the housewife's with your friends. The friends you had and shared everything with that you now lost contact with.

Perhaps the past just seems so good because there is nothing annoying or boring in it. There is no washing to be done, no exam preparations, no work commitments or every day life duties such as paying bills. No pressure on what is to come, where to go and what to do. No recollections of drama, disappointments, betray or failures. It is in fact a memory, where all the hard yards have already been walked and forgotten. Maybe thats why it feels so good to revisit now and then, and let one self be consumed by nostalgia...

Males and Females, what went wrong??

Stereotyping is wrong, bad and just not something we do anymore. or should do. But thats exactly what Im going to do right now. so if you dont like stereotypes, stop reading now.

Males, who are they? What do they do? How do they think? Why are they like they are?
They come in groups, or sometimes pairs, going out scanning the club after a female prey to conquer for the night. Hunters as they are they move through the place, looking for the most unsecure, weak link with OK looks to tangle around their fingers. They pull you in to this fantasy world, acting like they like you, and do care for you. ask you questions and make you feel good about your self.
All just to take you home, use you, throw you away and start all over again the next weekend. Sometimes they are nice about it, saying I really like you, but im not ready for a relationship but would like to still see you. Dont fall for it! Its all a game! And all they want is to play the game, show you off for their friends, but they will run faster then the speed of sounds if they hear the word commitment! One word, predators!
To their defence, this usually occur in their younger, imature states of their lifes.
Once in a relationship, they can be nice, caring, lovely and just amazing. Until another prey walks past and the hunt is on again! Last night as I was thinking about it, I came to the horrible conclusion I do not know one male that has not cheated in their lifetime! And forgive me if I forgot about the one who didnt, there is always an exception to the rule.
And what about their communication issues! They dont like talking about things, feelings. They push it away, looks extremely uncomfortable once the 'we need to talk´sentence is raised. No NOT AGAIN! I just want to drink my beer a watch the footy! Not talk about feelings and shit.
If they have a problem they either ignore it or quickly raise the issue and then leave it. What do they mean when they leave it? Why dont they analyse every second of the day and every letter of everything said? I mean its not like you can belive what is actually said without reading in between the lines? Right? Which brings me to females.

OK female as I am, I should know how awesome it is to be a female! But I have to say, its pretty shit from time to time!
We come in groups as well, or pairs, normally an equal number, three is a crowd. Females do not work in an unequal number. Their own insecurity and powertrips prohibits them. Because they need one person to bitch to about the other two. If three, well there will be a lot of bitching and no one will be friends in the end. I seen it to many times, and Im sure to see it again. They know how to play the game as well. They lure the hunters in with their looks, a sense of mystery, or the old saying "im not like other girls" and Im not jelaous, I dont bitch and I think like a man!...hmm Yeah right! Lets just say some females are better then others to hide their insecurity and neediness, but its still there!
They analyse everything you say, and I mean EVERYTHING! No means yes, yeas means no and god knows what maybe means! They say everything is OK, when in reality is the opposite, they complain and say everything is shit, when things are quite god. They run on emotions, while men runs on logic. They expect the unexpected but they dont like suprises. the key is to love them, no matter what, reassure them always and try to read their minds. Easy!
And whatever you do, do not get involved in their relationships with their friends! Casue they will bitch about them, leaving the poor male thinking they are bad friends. But no, the more they bitch, the more they care. Usually. Once they are not talking about anyone, then something is really wrong!

So how are the male sex and female sex actually able to work togheter? Thats one of the world biggest secrets, but Im sure it will take a lot of patience from both sides. Males need to go out, play the field and be hunters before they settle. And females, please stop thinking you can change him! YOU CANT!
So I heard once all a male wants when they marry a girl, is for her to stay the same. She wont, change is constant. All a female wants is for the male to change into something else, and once he does, they complain its not the same man they married.
Its quite hallerious thinking these species want eachother. I know I cant live without them, neither do I want too. But if there is one thing Im sick of, it is to hide my own feelings so I can be on the same level as the male. Sometimes they just need to accept we are neurotic freaks...but we will take care of you always!

Like I said, if you dont like stereotypes this was not for you. But after discussing this with various ppl, this is the normal stereotype of males and females from there own point of view!

saturday

Sometimes it is best not to ask a question when you dont want to face the answer

Each one of us requires the spur of insecurity to force us to do our best.
Harold W. Dodds

Insecurity can hit your from anywhere at any point, when you let it.
So how to we avoid it? By living in the unknown?
Perhaps that is for the best for a while.
It seems that even though we all work on it, everyone is insecure now and then.
I guess with age we learn how to be stronger, or perhaps we just learn how to deal with it.
I mean do we really just stop?


Saturday afternoon. Got up in the morning, then decided to go back to bed again for a few more hours.
Made my self a nice brekkie with mushrooms, scrambled eggs and avocado.
Having a lazy day cleaning and just being.
Feeling a bit down, but nothing that wont pass in due time.
Maybe its the low after the high so to say.

Looking at two taco bill hats in the landroom. Had a really good night there the other night. Nice food, good friends and plenty of large Margharitas!
A good celebration before exam time.
Time to get my lazy ass up and get started on the cleaning.

I belive my housemates are having a competition who can play their music the loadest, So maybe I should put mine on too!

Positivity Vs Negativity

We have all been told from time to time to lighten up, smile, be happy and think positive thoughts and everything will be OK! Law of attraction and blaha blaha.
When someone is hurting you hug them and tell them it will all be OK in the end. And we know it will, and so do they. But there is no need to rush it.
Sometimes someone says I don't think I can do this, and we reply of course you can stay positive. Because when your positive you can do anything! Right?

Why are people so scared about negative thoughts, I mean what if we really cant do anything? Or what is having a bit of self doubt from time to time just makes us human? Must of the things I have accomplished through my life have been through negativity, it makes me determined thinking I cannot do something.
And instead of having building up your hate inside you, release it in your thoughts from time to time.
After all it is a feeling and we need to acknowledge that.
As with all things, I believe balance is the key. Being a Libra I life after that statement.
Not every day are made for smiles, sometimes a smile is just not what you want to do. Sometimes you want to hate the world. As long as you just do it for a while and then get back to it again.

New research shows pessimism is on the rise. Often in life when you have been successful in something, you get over confident and expect to be successful again, forgetting how hard your worked for it. Times like this pessimism or "defensive pessimism" as its called will actually help you succeed again.

Either way at the end of the day you just have to keep it real. Create a balance, be prepared for negativity, and welcome positivity. Don't just have one or the other since they both complement each other. Its about being strategic, and use the two mindsets to your advantage. Recognizing the need of the situation. I mean can a person really be truly happy and smiling 100% of the time? And if they are, I don't want to be around when their bubble finally bursts!

2011 Germany was seen as the most positive nation in the world! Followed by Australia and Canada. The most negative was Irak, North-Korea and Pakistan. I think we can all understand why! Nothing against Germany but I found that a bit surprising, but good on them!