Friday as I know it

I was reading the paper today and it said that many ausytalians suffers from seasonal depression.This due to the fact that it is dark and cold during winter. It gets dark around 6 maybe, suns up around 7-8. and yeah its pretty cold from time to time. No snow though, not in melb anyway.
If Australians get depressed from their winter, i guess swedes, in paritcular the ones above the arctic circle must be close to going absolute loco! I mean, darkness 24/7 for 2 months! Then winter for 6-7 months! Yep loco it is.
You should all be happy u still have ur sanity left!
Its 20 post six at night, I have to leave in about 2 hours for my nightshift.
Got no motivation to do anything, im still in my pyjamas...well at least I did some study not much but a bit. So another weekend of work, another week of study (or half a week) and then I might get my social life back! Enjoy ur weekend everyone!

stress

Its funny how stress can get to you. Even when you think its not there. Well now I have learned to see it coming. When such a simple think like a broken oven makes you go nuts, well then is definatly something wrong. The smallest thing makes you have a nrevous breakdown.
They say stress can come from a lot of things. Well when you have no kids, and not even a full time job...the stress must come from somewhere else.
For me its exams. They might not seem to stressful to start with, or during the exam period, But after a while you can definatly feel the pressure. The pressure I have put on my self to be the best and better.
Working and studying is hard, and struggle financially is harder. As well as being away from home. And all those things combined plus the exam period has made me go over the edge. At least I understand what it is that makes me feel like this, and I know it will pass. But it dosent make it any easier. So when you come home and the oven is broken and your shoes are broken, combined with a broken car light...Yeah I think its fair to say it was a bit to much.
I cant fix the oven or buy new shoes or fix the car asap. But really they are minor issues, they are other shoes, you can cook without an oven and I just have to get a light and fix the car my self. So now after two hours of mental breakdown, I have calmed down and can now see things as a rational person. Lucky no one was home. If there is something else I learned is that im not exactly the best company when Im stressed. So Im looking forward to brighter days and to find my normal self again. Only one exam left then a break. At least it will give me some time to do all the other things i freak out about and have now time doing.
Sort out everything for my visitors is prio nr 1!
Yeah stress can be hard when we are put under pressure. But I have been there before I know it will past. But sometimes you need an hour or two to freak out,  get it all out of your system and then start over. Breaking it all down in manageble pieces and do one thing at a time. Really there is no point freaking out about things that have not yet occured and may never occur.
So tonight I will take a break from everything, watch a good show, go to bed early and start a new day tomorrow. Hopefully later down the track I will realised what I learned, even it nothing is making sence at the moment. But with such a strong drive to continue, it has to be worth it in the end, right?

Not so productive day!

Woke up way to late, got my tired so over exams, I need a holiday and a bottle of vodka ass to school. Once there the book I wanted was not in reserve, however it was due around that time so I decided to wait. I saw the book walking in (or the person walking in with the book) and my face put on a smile. There it is! Until the lady decided to re borrow the book. Now you are not allowed to do so so I went after her and explained that it was my turn to have the book. She looked at me rather confused, I pointed at the book and said you cant reborrow the book if there is someone else waiting for it...she still seemed rather confused. So I took the book from her and said come back in three hours!

The book was mine!

I should really have said one hour because thats how long i used it for. The guy sitting next to me in the library had the most annoying laugh and he would not stop laughing! So I decided to go and meet my friends at a cafe. I got directions and off I went. Well I went to the right cafe, did not see them...drove around for a while and decided to go home. Of course I had no credit. Im a student...Im poor! Got home called her up, and yes they where there, I just didnt look properly. Well not much to do about that. So I thought I have to look up all these things before I get back to study, download itunes and some music. Then I was hungry and decided to cook up satay chicken for the rest of the week. Now I have done all that and run out of must do things. I guess it is time to return to study. Exam is tomorrow! Im so over it! My life is so freaking boring atm and I need a drink! And even if I wanted to esacpe I cant since there is no planes taking off due to the stupid ash...

And happy birthday to my little sis! xx

Immigration, stay or go...what do a person do??

One of the current, extremely controversial issues discussed around the world is immigration.  Is immigration in the different forms or shapes ethical? Or is the notion of “take care of your self before anyone else” the way to go? Where does a society draw the line? Is it all right to make sure their current citizens have everything before taking care of someone else…But what if that someone else have nothing and not being able to build a new life would most likely kill them…Is it really ethical saying no to that? It is about life and death, do we reach out or hand or do we feed our own?

Immigration comes in many different forms, immigrating due to family, work, school, partners ect. In Australia’s case immigration has built the country. Today people are continuing immigrating here to fill the skilled workers shortages or to live with their family members. It has been proven that the benefits of immigration is far more then the costs. Not only are people immigrant filling up the work shortage but is contributing to the social welfare system and infrastructure by paying taxes, starting new businesses and contributing with innovation which sets Australia on the world map. In the long rum Immigration is successful and is continuing to be successful. The cost however is mostly associated with integration the new people in society and the cost of language courses (refugees get no special payments for being refugees). These are minor costs compared to the benefits. It is also a fact that 98% of Australians are descendents of migrants.

However illegal immigration is and will continue to be a problem. And I am not talking about the so called “boat people” since they only account for 10&% of illegal immigrants each year. That they have received so much media attention and hostility is something I cannot understand considering when there is another 90% to take care of, where are they??? And they are probably the ones needing this “new life” less then the refugees. Again this is going back to the ethical dilemma, what does a country do? Well if you ask me, sitting home complaining about it is not helping anyone. We are all entitled to our opinions of course but be sure to have informed opinions. The journey these refugees goes though is not an easy one, Im definatly looking forward to see this show, hopefully people will think differently about them after that.

And yes, Australia population is growing quickly; there is a shortage of housing and of course water. Immigration need to be more regulated and taken care of. The current citizens need to have food, water and shelter before bringing others in. I guess this is why this is such a dilemma, there is no easy way to deal with these things in my opinion. I’m not a citizen my self, and I am struggling with the thought of maybe not being able to stay if I chose I would like to. But if that means that I’m giving up my place to someone who needs it more, I’m quite happy to do so.  But if I stay, start a business, employ people and bring in money to the economy, have I not done well then? But again, how many people can one country fit? Questions are followed by another question. I have trust in the systems, at least some parts of it. And I belive there is not an easy answer to these things and I trust that the people that have been elected are doing their best. I´m sure I cant do better. There are so many problems and things that needs attention in a society, there fore there will always be things getting less attention and less money…Simply because there is not enough money and no system is perfect. We just need to learn how to life with it all and do our best or simply go out there and try to change what we are not happy with!

http://www.immi.gov.au/media/publications/research/social-costs-benefits/contents_exec_summary_and_intro.pdf

First Love

When I think back of the men in my life, so far anyway I’m not really sure what went on in my head sometimes. Well some choices I have to say I’m proud of, one or two that to this day seems unnecessary and plain idiotic and most I see as learning experiences. Whether they where long term relationships, flings or distant meetings in the night they all have something in common. They reflect my own insecurity, wants and needs. It’s like a reverse mirror of my self and who I was at a particular point in time.

Somehow I just did not get it. I did not understand what a soul mate is, maybe I still don’t. I chose with fear of really letting go and be without control. Sometimes I think I chose for selfish reasons. Well I know I did. Don’t we all?

What I never looked for and what I don’t believe I found to this day is a true companion. A person that push you to succeed and become a better human being than you ever thought where possible. A person who catches you those times you fall, because falling is inventible.

Someone that shares you values and underlying assumptions on what life should be like. Or at least some of them, and maybe create new ones together.

A true friend.

I do believe I had and still have true friends. People to push me and catch me, friends that share my views and visions of a perfect world.

There was a guy once in my life, he was all that if not even more. He made me laugh, and yeah he did make me cry sometimes. I should add to this that I am supersensitive so it is not hard to make my cry. But it is hard to break me.

Anyway that man or maybe a boy who he was at the time was my first love.

I was young, life was good and it was summer. Butterflies where in my stomach every time I saw him, heard his voice or talked about him. My face was smiling every day, every night. My eyes where full of life and happiness. It was true love because it was the first love and it was great!

As with many things great they come to an end. I was heartbroken. I though life was over and all that was left was a big black whole. Even today thinking back at it, it was an extremely strong and just heart aching feeling. It made me physical ill.

It was the first meeting with lost love, and it was so hard. I did not know as a young girl just experience my first love that the feeling would pass and life would move on.

And it did, however the experience was so innocent and it was without restrictions. Only time I let my self get lost in love without trying to control, manipulate and change someone to what I would like my partner to be.

As u grow older, it gets harder...Im happy I had my first love, and the loves I had after. It gives your life a meaning, sharing it with others.

flashback 2

Got another flashback,´...how life did not turn out as what I expected several years ago. Miss those times, they seem so distance now but still like yesterday. I screwed it all up but maybe for the best. This song will always remind me of xmas and newyears 2002...and beginning of 2003. Miss you all! And miss my obsession with 24 and that game...hmm cant remeber now what the name was but I was hooked! xx

Jamie Oliver

Jamie Oliver, Richard Branson, Bill Gates and so many more…what do they share?? They are all entrepreneurs, business entrepreneurs and social entrepreneurs. Fantastic Inspiring people that make us feel like dreams can come true.

My favorite is Jamie Oliver, He might be known to many as a chef with a TV show, but what he has done to change the way people eat and think of food is fantastic! He change the way the UK school system coked their food, and educate people in the danger of eating processed food. Okay I can say I am not a health freak; however I am an adult I choose what I eat and I am informed of the consequences of my choices. Kids are not, So Good On you Jamie!! Once voice, determination and a believing in the cause can make us all go a long way.

Richard Branson, I am so looking forward to seeing him in July! I have high expectations and I am sure he will not disappoint me….

My interest in life comes from setting myself huge, apparently unachievable challenges and trying to rise above them...from the perspective of wanting to live life to the full, I felt that I had to attempt it /Richard Branson

His life has not been a dance on roses, perhaps that was has made him so successful. The new initiative in Virgin Atlantic, who else would come up with that? I can only wish I would have the money to get a ticket :)
Either way, these people not only works as an inspiration for success but they all share a common mission of giving back. This is the people that make the world go around in my eyes. You can be rich and GIVE back to your community, which is the good part about being rich and influential, as long as you use it the right way!

I need to return to my studies about business strategies, what else to do on Friday afternoon? Seems like 9 out of 10 people at the library is sitting on facebook, seems to be the way to go!

Indigenous Communities, what went wrong??

As I was sitting down, preparing for my entrepreneur exam I came across a chapter about disadvantaged entrepreneurs. Not suprisingly indigenous people where a part of that. This got me thinking, these people have a cultural connection to a land on earth and was there long before colonasation came into the picture, or people who lives in non-urbanised areas..or the very definition of indigenous community: members of a group that share a culture, the natives of the land they live on...
They all have common characteristics around the world, they have low education levels, social deprivation, poor health, poverty and so much more! Why is this? What happend and why is this a problem across all continents and cultures. Some suffer more, some less...some are doing good, others have not yet been accepted by the rest of society.

The sami people for instance (Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia) I have always had nothing else but respect for them growing up, maybe because it is such a big part of Kirunas history, maybe because I never heard anything bad at home, perhaps they where better off then others...who knows. Either way as far as I see it, everyone should be treated with respect. I think sometimes the developing world forgets that we can learn from others instead of always trying to teach them,

However, in the nineteenth century Norwegian authorities suppressed the Sami culture in order to make the Norwegian language and culture universal. A strong economic development of the north also took place, giving Norwegian culture and language priority status. On the Swedish and Finnish side, the authorities were much less militant in their efforts, but economic development of the north led to a weakening of status and economy for the Sami.
The strongest pressure took place from around 1900 to 1940, when Norway invested considerable money and effort to wipe out Sami culture. (new world encyclopedia)

Why?? However there are far worse off indigenous communities, The natives of Australia for example, said to have been here for 50 000 years, from 1869-1968 the different states of Australia removed the children of the indigenous communities. The reasons to remove the children is still said to be unknown. The chidlren where removed and moved to other areas without a reason or explanation to the families. Why I wonder?? Again it is a hard question to answer.

Who have not heard about the removal of native americans, the war that was fought stopping the "white" people entering their land, the reservations and the many apologizes 200 years later. Dont get me wrong, I have nothing against the colonasation around the world, countries developing, new cultures emerging. Im just wondering why the indigenous people all around the world have been mistreated, in some countries to such extent it is hard to imagine? All countries have their excuse, but what is the common thing here??
If you ask me I would say greed and a lack of understanding of cultures and differences between societies. However today it is not an exuse anymore, we know better, we are doing better.

But isnt there still that little thing in the back of our mind?? That they are not like us, we are not like them? I dont know I can only think what I think. But I do belive it is time to stop focusing on material things, profits and fame.
Maybe we should ask our self where we came from, what is our history and how can we keep or culture? In that I mean EVERYONE. We all live here, we have to share even if we like it or not...

As I once heard, without love our hate, the world would be a perfect place...(but probably very boring)


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stolen_Generations

Lazy

2 exams to go!!!
what a feeling! Still in bed it is 11am and I need to drag my ass to the library. But sometimes there is nothing better then lying in bed snoozing. ON the other hand libraryt close at 10pm so I got time. Was going to the movies butv study has to come first! "morrow its friday and another weekend of work, watching the drunken crowd move through the night eating pizza and complain abougt prizes. And all crazy outfirs of course!
Planning to take my guest to Great Ocean Road when they come, second time for me but what the heck!! Wouldnt mind going back to that pier thing..ok time to get up! xx

Flashback

Spoke to My Friend Sandra Yesterday! Ahhhhhhhh the memories, govenor Andy singing this song at an "after party" 6am in the morning as I just got off my nightshift, working the VIP bar at the Kiruna festival! Had like 2 beers and it was on haha, and still manage to get to work the next day to do another night! Had so much fun that summer, I miss it!

Sambuca Baileys and white wine was the go! Went to Borås, was suppose to be there for a couple of days but ended up staying for over a week and almost moved there haha. Good Times Indeed!
So new plan, Sandra we are Moving to London!!

Miss, miss, miss the swedish summer! I have to come home nxt summer! The go would be if I could work the summer months in Australia and summer months in Sweden, and mo more winter!

Anyways, had my economic exam this morning, went allright I belive. Next one next week. Today Im taking a break from study, tomorrow its on again. Only 1 year and a half to go, absolute crazy! So in september dad stefan and Camilla is coming...so much fun! Cant wait to show them life as I know it in the land down under!! xx

life a la homesick swede!

marry the life you have created
create the life you want to marry

I have been struck by emptyness

Drink a glas of water my mum use to say when I said I felt empty. I have a feeling she might have been referring to hunger, but funny enough...when that feeling takes over I find my self drinking a glass of water and it actually works


I miss mother nature, I miss the trees, the smell of fresh air, the lake, rivers and mountains
I was not borned to live in complete isolation, but perhaps I was not borned to live like this either
I find my self thinking about camping, snow and fresh air. I need to get out of the smog!
I think a trip to Bright would be refreshing right now, when exams are over perhaps

Exams, that is what I should be doing. But I got the house to my self and I am Loving it! I use to belive I was a social creature..Now I have to say I love my own time..I seem to not want to go where there is a huge amount of people. I sometimes turn the radio down instead of up. I love complete silence!
Maybe this "city" life is starting to get to me, maybe cause I work at one of the most busiest locations in Melb CBD, maybe because the uni Library is flooded with exam victims and maybe because whereever you turn there is people! And if you have a day off and want to go out somewhere (on a public holiday) u will find the rest of the city chose to do the same thing!
Enough of complaining, I do love it...but sometimes I just want complete silence, no people, no crowds and no loud music! A nice cup of coffee with a friend at an empty cafe in the middle of nowhere would do me good right now!

3 exams to go! Then I will fix (and wash) my car, sort out the gym membership, do the stuff i have not had any time to do, watch a movie, escape the city, do my nails, maybe get an haircut and plan an intinerary for my family (half of it) coming in October! And read Knasen that hopefully will be on the way here soon!

But first off to bed, up in the morning, study economics get through the exam and burn the textbook!

Exams, work and life

I exam done, 3 to go!
This is a bust, stressful and exhausting time. As a lecturer said the other day, the only thing u learn from an exam, is to sit an exam.
It is hectic and my head hurts. But it is worth it and it can be pretty fun. A learning experience.
Off to work soon, friday night, sat night, sunday night. My life has turned into a cycle of habits. I feel I need to run! I need a challange, I need a bushwalk, I need to sail around the worl, I need to look for great whites outside Africas coast!
Ah well before I start going nuts, I need to finish my exam.
Meeting my mentor on monday, going through applications for graduate programs.
Might have some in the summer break, around rural areas in Queensland or NT. Working with projects, would be awesome!
Voulenteering at a business breakfast at the Crown in July. The speakers/guest is Richard Branson and Carrie Brickmore. Cannot wait!
There are a light in the tunnel after all! Maybe a trip to Rockhampton soon to see Martina aswell. But first a weekend of work and 4 weeks of exams. See u in July!